Once upon a time, people lived in the modern world. Everyone looked the same and followed the same mainstream trends, and no one listened to good music. One day, a group of people arose, who decided to be different. The modern world then stereotyped them, labeling their non-conformist ways with the term hipster. To learn how you can become one of these totally unique, original people, you can partake upon a journey of ultimate discovery by examining the music, lifestyle and demeanor, and appearance that form a hipster.
If you truly want to be a hipster, your iPod and music selection must comply. First, you must not listen to any mainstream music; rather, the more obscure a band, the better. Indie or obscure records are the best— vinyl records also hold the best quality music, and look vintage at the same time. Second, you must learn to adore bands like Bright Eyes, Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, Sigur Rós, and The Decemberists to be acceptable to the hipster community. Finally, you must know all unique information about your favorite obscure band and attend every single show. Therefore, when you talk endlessly about this band to your ‘normal’ friends, they will see that you are something different indeed.
Changing your demeanor and lifestyle accordingly will bring you one step closer to becoming a full-fledged hipster. First, you must learn to be aware of how much you affect and pollute the environment. Start using re-usable grocery bags so that you can impress upon the cashier how much you want to save the plastic trees. After you educate yourself about the cruelties inflicted upon animals before they are slaughtered for consumption, you must consider going vegan, or at least vegetarian, to show that you support animal rights. Because you want to associate with other hipsters, you will frequent Starbucks all the time with your Macbook and Instagram each mundane moment on your iPhone. Because you are different and you abhor labels, you must deny being a hipster if anyone ever claims you are one. Now that you are aware of your environment, you realize that ‘normal’ people are below you, and while you pity their ignorance you will take satisfaction in the fact that you are among the enlightened. Henceforth, whatever you do, you will stand with pride high above stereotypes of any kind.
The final and most crucial step—having to do with your appearance—will result in the completion of your hipster transformation. Your appearance as a hipster remains very exact and important. You must now shop at thrift stores exclusively, and if none are available, stores like Urban Outfitters and Free People function as expensive substitutes. Skinny jeans stand at the center of any hipster’s closet, and should be worn with plaid or vintage band t-shirts, along with gender-neutral scarves. Vintage, floral dresses, especially the kind that you would find in your grandma’s closet, bear a distinctly hipster look. Next to skinny jeans, a hipster’s look should also revolve around over-sized, ugly sweaters. The sweaters from Urban Outfitters are acceptable, but cardigans from your grandfather’s closet are the best. Wearing shoes like leather boots, Toms, Keds, and moccasins add to your unique, hipster appearance. Large, plastic-frame glasses are essential for all hipsters, whether they actually need glasses or not. Messy, ‘I don’t care’ hair completes the hipster look and can be achieved with very little effort. Now that you know how to look like a hipster, the new you can advance into the world with your head held high.
After exploring hipster music, lifestyle and demeanor, and appearance, you now know what it takes to become a hipster. You now love the only acceptable kind of music, which comes from obscure, Indie bands. You now understand how to live like a hipster, and that you are better than everyone else. As for appearances, you’ve got it covered with skinny jeans and your local thrift store. Now that you know how to live above than the mainstream world, don’t you feel a little relieved?
basically the only stuff I’ve been writing lately… But at least I’m mostly having fun with it!